These are first- or second-hand stories about life’s little interactions.
- Bank chronically errs in providing the wrong bid/ask on the exchange rate in your paycheck. Calls you later asking you to pay 200 pesos per paycheck for every one you received from the bank. Obviously, they’ve never played Monopoly.
- Almonds don’t have a price tag on them. Therefore, they are not on sale, so put them back on the shelf please.
- You’re a young woman? Great news, you can be a secretary, event planner, or housewife! (Note: Not everyone, just traditionalists)
- Only have 500 peso bill to pay for 25 peso carro publico ride? Get chewed out by driver, gringo.
- No rain in the past 5 days? Do laundry and get rained on.
- Who’s looking at the between-inning entertainment of young voluptuous women dancing on a stage built in the middle of the stands wearing team-colored schoolgirl or racing uniforms? Just every husband, son, and boyfriend with their cameraphones whipped out (so this is why they invented Blackberries). Meanwhile, a mascot grinds all up on the ground, leaving the remaining pre-pubescent boys to imitate.
- Walk up same three floors to apartment every day, drenched in sweat by the top every time.
- Where’s the rice with your lunch? You’re a weird one, gringo.
- Walking around the house barefoot? Not since Boston.
- China = orange you eat / Naranja = orange you cook with / limón = lime / limón dulce = “sweet lemon” (which is on the border between tasteless and bitter)
Reading: Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace
Learning: Chord progressions / changes
Listening: College Dropout, Kanye West